10 Stages of a Food Coma
A rite of passage for every college student. It's like the walk of shame, but better.
We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in class when your stomach starts to growl uncontrollably in the middle of a quiet lecture. Embarrassed, you wrap your arms across your tummy to suppress the noise. But it’s too late. All of your classmates have heard your grumbles and there’s no recovering from there.
You proceed to count down the minutes until it’s time to ditch the books and grab some grub at the nearest dining hall. Here’s where the ten stages of the food coma become real.
1. You enter the doors of the dining hall like:
2. You check out the various offerings, making notes of which stops to hit up.
3. Plates on plates on plates in hand, you find a seat and take your first bite. Nothing’s stopping you from enjoying your meal.
4. After sampling a few items, you and your friends discuss which foods are worth going back for. (All of them?)
5. Must. Keep. Eating. Isn’t that the point of a buffet?
6. You start to feel your pants/shorts/skirt getting tighter.
7. But wait! No meal is complete without dessert.
8. You start having second thoughts about ever stepping foot in this trap they call a dining hall.
9. The fullness is actually painful and you find yourself wondering: did I just become a beached whale?
10. You vow to never come back…until tomorrow.
Have you experienced the top 10 stages of a food coma? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. Some of us more than once.